the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls

So I got really frustrated yesterday, and it had been building up for some time now. I've always kind of felt like I'm the outsider in my family. I'm a lot younger than my other siblings and my parents are kinda old, and I've just always felt out of place. I've always hated my tiny little home town, and I never had any real friends there. Honestly there is only one person from Oskie that I still talk to. (Yes, that's you Ross.) I guess I've just always felt like I was in the wrong place, and like everything else has always mattered to everyone but not me. Lots of times things are important to my family, more important than I am.

So back to the story. So my car broke down the other day and with spring break coming up I needed to figure out a way to get home. So I called my mom and started talkin to her and told her maybe her and my dad could come down visit Brandi's family, dad could look at my car, and if my high school team made state(which they didn't) we could go watch them. I told her this thinking that it sounds like a pretty good idea and it's a way I can get home. However, she told me that they have a work day at the church so we would have to figure something else out. (this really frustrated me because it's not the first time that she's picked a stupid church activity over me, they do it all the time. I'll tell them that I have a concert and they'll be like o we have a church thing, and I don't think my mom realizes how much it really brothers me that they don't come watch me sing. When I was in high school my parents never missed a thing, they were at all my concerts and games and everything and now it's kinda like they don't care anymore because they don't come to anything and it REALLY bothers me because it's not like they can't, they're choosing not to.) Well back the to story again, I told my mom that I thought it was stupid that she was picking a church work day over me, because I know if they told the people they were coming to get me that they would be fine with it. And she said thats not what we're doing don't be like that. Then I told her yes it is, that's what you always do. And she said no, I'm sure there's another option, and I said yeah I could just not come home. Then she told me she didn't want to talk to me anymore and hung up on me. MY MOM HUNG UP THE PHONE ON ME. All I was trying to do was find a way to get home so that I could come home fore spring break and she freakin hung up the phone on me.

And honestly I do want to come home, I miss my family. But I even feel out of place at my house. Since I'm the youngest I'm the one that always gets displaced. Whenever people come home I have to give up my bedroom and sleep on the couch. Then I get woke up whenever anyone gets up (my niece and nephew wake up at like 6:30 every day) and then I get told I'm in the way and I need to wake  up, and I kinda just feel like I'm an inconvenience. Maybe I am...